If you've recently gotten a puppy and your adult dog is getting annoyed, this one's for you!
Puppies are adorable, and can also annoy the heck out of adult dogs. They want to play, they don't understand social cues, and they don't really take no for an answer most of the time.
It used to be common to say "let the dog's work it out." There are a couple of fundamental problems with this. For one thing, some adult dogs are so incredibly tolerant, and will not correct a puppy even when they're super annoyed. The puppy doesn't learn anything from this, and your poor adult dog is just miserable. Other adult dogs may decide to yell at the young whippersnapper, but they go too far- and can scare or even injure the puppy.
And even in the best case scenario, with an adult dog who provides clear and fair "no thank you" cues to the puppy, it still relies on the adult dog to do a whole lot of work and tolerate a rude and rambunctious new roommate.
At the same time, we DO need puppies to learn social cues from other dogs: and that may sometimes mean getting that "no thank you" feedback:
Things like the adult dog moving away, giving them "side eye," small growls, or even small lip curls. We might also see adult dogs lick their lips or shift their bodies slightly (like turning their backs). This is appropriate communication, and puppies benefit tremendously from learning what body language says "let's play" or "back off."
The problem is that puppies often see those subtle, appropriate signals to take it easy, and..... ignore them. They think play is fun, they have tiny baby brains, and they just keep trying. This is where we give the example of being a "bouncer" (what's now called a door supervisor or security guard) for your dog!
At a club or bar, a "bouncer" might look out for anyone that seems like they're getting unwanted attention. They might come up and ask "excuse me, is this person bothering you?" If the answer is "no, we're fine!" the bouncer can walk away. But if the answer is "yes, I need some assistance!" the bouncer can remove the bothersome person from the club.
When it comes to managing puppies with our adult dogs, we can do the same. When the adult dog is playing happily, no need to intervene! If they give your puppy cues to back off, what does the puppy do? If they back off, great! If not, you can intervene. This often looks like calling your puppy away to give your adult dog some space.
(Note: we recommend using treats and a happy voice when removing your puppy- this isn't meant to punish them, just to give some space). If your adult dog actually goes back to the puppy to play- great! That's the "no, we're just fine here!" If your dog instead stays where they are or moves further away from the puppy, great! You've done a good job protecting your dog from the pesky pup who wouldn't listen. Over time, puppies will begin to learn that when they repeatedly pounce on their big brother or sister, the play stops. We're still allowing our adult dogs to communicate and giving puppies the opportunity to learn and respond, but we intervene as soon as our dogs ask for some assistance!
Answering some common questions:
Should I let my older dog correct my puppy?
Yes and no. Yes, your older dog should be allowed to say "no thanks" to your puppy, communicating their needs. Things like lip licking, side eye, turning away, and even growling or showing teeth are appropriate communication methods and we don't want to punish them! But if your older dog is regularly escalating to growls or teeth, especially if the puppy isn't catching the earlier signs, we want to step in before your older dog gets too frustrated.
Should I let my dog and my puppy work it out?
Please don't! Again, we LOVE to see effective communication: where an adult dog says "no thanks" and a puppy goes "ok, no problem!" and backs off. But the idea of working it out often relies on our adult dogs to tolerate a lot of rudeness, and expects them to do a lot of work. For many adult dogs, this is really hard!
My puppy is bullying my older dog- what should I do?
Puppies just don't know how to self regulate yet. If your puppy is pestering your older dog, it's a good time to interrupt the situation by calling your puppy away to do something else instead. Do this repeatedly until your puppy is better able to stop when your adult dog says "no thanks!"
How to introduce a puppy to an older dog?
We generally recommend introducing new dogs in a neutral space, like on a walk. When introducing a new puppy to the home, we recommend removing any potential resource guarding by picking up toys and treats, and feeding the dogs separately. We also recommend introducing the dogs in short play sessions with lots of breaks in between, to keep everyone safe and happy.
For more information on managing multi-dog households, check out our webinar!